based on actual events

ursineknight:

Li was served dinner with Selma and her family. Look at Helga and Carlotta, all smug in the back and channeling Krissy. “Dey gunn’ kiss? DEY GUNN’ KISS?”

MY PRESHISS FUCKING CHILLUN
withers into a husk of the woman she once was

Li was served dinner with Selma and her family. Look at Helga and Carlotta, all smug in the back and channeling Krissy. “Dey gunn’ kiss? DEY GUNN’ KISS?”

MY PRESHISS FUCKING CHILLUN

withers into a husk of the woman she once was

lisasolovyovalikes:

Tom Waits

DON’T—TELL—ME WHAT TO DO, TUMBLR

you’re not even my real dad

animals-animals-animals:

Eastern Smooth Green Snake (Opheodrys vernalis) (by squamatologist)

LOOK HOW FUCKING HAPPY THIS SNAKE IS

JUST

LOOK

thechibbsjermaine:

Bottle Cap Blues

:51 = me

—

um excus m

exemplarybehaviour replied to your post: domesticatedwerewolves replied to your post: — I…

THE BEST ANALOGY. WORTH EVERY PENNY.

PREPARE TO HATE ME FOREVER because Maddy is nigh unrecognizable at this point

but the new gameplan at least kinda worked! since by baby Moses’s blessed waterwings, I have the majority of it outlined

domesticatedwerewolves replied to your post: —

I BELIEVE IN YOU despite the fact that I write by the seat of my pants STEPHEN KING STYLE WOOO

DANG DAMN DANG, GUY how do you people do that I swear

(not that I don’t ENJOY writing straight off the saddle) (I mean) (that’s like) (my nature, dig)

(my nature, Gabe) (okay, Gabe)

~~(IS THAT OKAY WITH YOU, GABE)~~

it’s just, thataway, anything I tip over 3,000 words then becomes an example of—as a friend and I have christened the genre—”a chimerical fondue of sadness”

—

[just "hoist" / 20 / f / talentsexual]

[ENFP / English major / ~~Hufflepuff~~ extremely grudging Gryffindor]

[x] I eavesdrop from cafe booths, streetcorners, the next bookcase over, and while waiting in line at the gas station

[x] It's not intentional I swear I'm just naturally inquisitive

[x] And tend to get to know people via the Socratic method

[x] ... I'm also nosy as fuck

[x] If there is graffiti on the bathroom stall, I will sit and read every bit

[x] Favorite number is 9

[x] ... wait

[x] no

[x] What the hell am I talking about, I hate all numbers

[x] All of them

[x] Forever

[x] (∞)

[x] I'm most at ease when you are

[x] Can change a flat tire and jump-start most cars

[x] Yet cannot go more than six weeks without a speeding ticket

[x] Patronus would probably be a seal or monkey or something

[x] Can under no circumstances resist singing along to "Roxanne" or "Sweet Dreams"

[x] Do not trust me around your peanut butter, I will eat it straight from the jar with a spoon

[x] Slight fixation on scents

[x] (jk I'm like a goddamn bloodhound)

[x] (it's not unusual for me to spend an hour in the candle aisle, huffing like a locomotive)

[x] When parents' backs are turned I make faces at babies in the grocery store until they laugh

[x] I am fucking terrified of mayonnaise

[x] Well okay, not like

[x] legitimately phobic or anything

[x] it's more like, just

[x] like

[x]

[x] I just find it really unnerving, okay, OKAY

[x] (during awkward pauses I can make cricket sounds)

[x] I'm easily excitable, even over the internet, and tend express this with a loTTT OF CAPS LOCK I'M SORRY, I JUST FEEL REALLY STRONGLY ABOUT MOST THINGS FOR LITTLE APPARENT REASON

[x] Very rarely do I say very much that you should take very seriously.

TUMBLR SAVIOR CHEAT SHEET:

#oh me = insipid bullshit
#oh tom = Tom Waits
#bored alliance = mutual sexual harassment between strangers on the internet
#jamz = music I dig
#chromaphiliac = art I dig
#writing = glorified personal journal entries as recommended that I start making by a uni counselor, for "intro-personal-therapeutic" purposes, is that even a word, I'm not sure, I was too busy catharsis-ing to ask. Ironically, the original purpose of this little blog
#stunning = worth a look, honest!

LARGELY DEFUNCT, PRE-TUMBLR ERA FICTION BLOG, YEEAAA:

locustpocus.blogspot.com